A Song to Share..

Found this song with meaningful lyrics and good feel. If you are a mandopop follower, spare a moment for this song. This is not an 'obang' song but Mediacorp Channel 8 'Perfect Cut' theme song. I found the lyrics a real reflection of anyone who is forced to keep a relationship going even though he/she is not willing to keep the charade of pretending to love the other party anymore.

I think in this modern society, anyone should have their own right to choose what he/she wants, how he/she wants it and how he/she want to go about getting what he/she want. No 3rd party, be it their friends, relatives, siblings, parents or even their own spouse should say or do things that dissuade, impede or even harm him/her for their own ideology. Unfortunately, life is never so simple. Some people just want everything to revolve around them, be it everyone or anyone. By direct or subtle methods, such selfish people control directly or indirectly all the people they can assert their influence on.. Despicable..

Anyway, here are the lyrics of the song. It's 郭美美's 放了爱. The song is available in my blog too, at the mp3 machine, 3rd last gadget on the left, below the world clock. Enjoy.. =)

放了爱 - 郭美美

----------------------------
你指向远方爱情很晴朗

笑问不如今后就我们俩

怕泪会反光钻进你的胸膛

但那不是感动是泪无法储藏

/

把美梦锁上以为是天堂

羽翼折起在你身边静静躺

却只能用目光在空中翱翔

还得乔装安份靠在你肩膀

/

放了爱 为了爱

这不是我 该怎么生活

放了爱

/

你说你喜欢我笑得开朗

你越温柔我越不想撒谎

我已办不到你想要的那样

客气地配合你我感觉更勉强

/

别人的幸福何必要模仿

心不在何苦留躯壳在身旁

加满自由我要无重量飞翔

就算以分离收场

/

放了爱 为了爱

这不是我 该怎么生活

放了爱 会明白

有种拥有 叫作放手

/

我的心为爱流离失所

紧握最后回家的线索

等到寻获真正的我

证明我决定没有错

/

放了爱 为了爱

这不是我 想要的生活

放了爱 你会明白

有种拥有 叫作放手

放了爱 我放了爱

Tired..

I feel drained.. Had rushed out a new pricing list for the centre in terms of packaged hours and also created new packages to cater to people who may be looking for buying a package for a day, a weekend or overnight. A lot of thing to consider in such a change, and one of it is that if this change will still be fair to those who bought earlier.

Also rushed out a modified version of the flyers so as to reflect the new pricing and the new stuff. I will have to print it later, after the centre has closed. I hope that I can print like 50-100 copies of this new flyers for this weekend. I am looking at targeting all those who are now busy studying and hopefully, some will come and take a look at this centre. It gets so upsetting and fustrating when you see all the fast food full of students studying but none comes to take a look.

This afternoon, 2 JJC gals came to peep and the centre but dared not come into the centre. Hai.. How to get more people?? I have managed to secure another $10k for this and next month but this is not the solution to the problem.. What else can I do? Hai...

Human At Last...

After arriving at the centre late and as my last update, looking dumb, I had my regular tuition and at the same time, one of the people who signed up came to utilise the place. Now that someone comes, I don't look so dumb (except for the fact that my dinner is still at the pantry while I am typing this.. Duh.. Still quite dumb..)

I think I need to get my advertising up fast in terms of getting someone to help me out if not I'll be tired out even before my sister comes back and helps me out.. How can I get more people? Hai.. That's my million dollar question with no answer and no lifeline..

No One Again..

It's another day of me facing the walls.. What is wrong with this business model? I need to figure out how to change this empty situation fast.. If not, I will look dumb soon..

First Full Shift

Now sitting at the counter to become the guardian of the centre. I fully understand how it feels to be stuck at the centre and things get a bit bored when you don't have anyone coming in but experiencing it on a monday is a bit strong for me to take..

A bit bored, given that I can't do up my banner due to a lack of software. Most things that should be done are quite done already so I think I will be happy to slack a bit here and there..

Spent an hour over to create the music and make sure it works.. Haha.. Quite an achievement for someone who is a blog idiot.. Ha.. Will try to have more music linked to it as time comes.. In anyway, I need everyone who reads this: support my sponsors that are advertising in between my posts.. I owe it to them that a lot of things can appear in this blog.. Click on the advertising and see what my sponsors have to offer.. Thanks to all! =)

Say it? Or not?

I have always heard of people saying that sometimes, some things are better off not saying to the party involved cos the ugly truth is so vulgar and hard to accept that the affected party has to end up staying in an illusion to hide from the fact. By telling them the cold hard fact, things may be much worse than one can imagine.

I used to be upset when people tell me facts, and really ugly facts about myself, about how lousy I am, or how bad is my attitude, but now, instead of being upset, I analyse to see if the statement made is valid. If it is, I make it an effort to change it but if it is an invalid statement, I ignore it. I think I fully understand how the truth hurts when said cos I can feel it myself. If the affected party is just another person, then there is no point blurting out truths cos one will make himself a targetboard of hate. But when the affected party is your close friends, loved ones? Say it, and all hell will most prob break loose, but not saying seems morally wrong.. How should this then be solved??

Interpersonal relationships can be so difficult to handle..

A Bit of Sadness

Time flies.. 17th of April is here, come and gone; a date where my 2 gals working at the centre will call it a day and stop coming to work daily. Looking at one of them leave today/yesterday at the end of her shift, I do feel some sense of loss... I don't know what things will look like on Monday.. I cannot imagine how things will be without them on Monday..

2 months really fly.. One of them will totally stop work as her father doesn't like her to work and she herself feels that she would like to do one thing at a time.. The other will have to look at her timetable before deciding..

To be honest, both have had done their work well.. From cleaning the toilet to wiping the table top, from scanning documents to vacuuming the place, whatever you name it, they have done it. From the start where they do not know how to get it done properly till now, proficient, these has been the 2 long months, but it is now history...

I gave the gal who worked her last day today/yesterday a bottle of cookies as a thank you gift for all the hard work she has put in. I also gave another bottle of cookies to her for her to pass to her friend, now should be busy studying her Jap exam (but I doubt she is so hardworking, most prob now at some Jap website ogling at handsome guys.. Zzz..).

I think I will dedicate the last part of this post to them:

Germaine,
Thank you for all the hard work that you have put in. I know there are a number of things that you helped out are things you have had never done, and never thought would be doing, like cleaning the toilet, giving out flyers, vacuuming the place, etc.. but for completing all of them without much fuss, I appreciate it. Although you started off with almost no clue on what to do for everything assigned to you, make a mess occasionally on the things to be done, but having only worked at the centre for 2 months and 3 days (14th Feb 09 - 17th Apr 09), your determination to improve and get things done right is something that I value.

All the best to your studies and I sincerely hope to see you back to help out the centre when your timetable allows you to. Even if you can't help me out, your presence at the centre in terms of studying would also be much welcomed.. Cheers!

Elina,
I know you read my blog, not scan through but in detail (Blogs are meant to be read anyway, but advertisments are meant to be CLICKED on as often as possible you know..). Thank you for your help so far and I hope to see you back assisting me soonest.. Germaine is holding to your bottle of cookies (the same ones that both of you had during Good Friday, except that it is now one bottle for each of you), so get it from her during your jap class this Sunday, or earlier cos I'm unsure if Germaine/Simone will finish it 1st.. Ha ha...

I know that your NYP is really far and thus you may end up quitting this job too but I should add this: I mean it when I say that you are different, not in the case of weirdo, but a person who thinks out of the box. I do hope to see you back but till then, all the best in your business course. If you need help in the modules, you know who to look for.. Ha ha.. I hope I didn't scare you to death when I blurt out your life partner criteria but well.. What's said cannot be unsaid anyway.. Ha ha ha.. (no tinge of remorse.. Heh Heh..). Till I see you back at work, have fun ogling all the boys there at NYP.. Cheers!

Stress Mounting Again!!!

I don't know how to put it but the monthly ritual of finding $$ to sustain this study centre is taking a toil on me yesterday.. 2 friends of mine came to the centre and commented that I have not done enough publicity to attract the students to come and study. One also claimed that I should have found and secure a group of people willing to commit themselves to this centre to study before even starting up.

I appreciate people who give me suggestions and ideas for improvement but the thing is that if the whole charade is to do blame-storming, then I don't think I need that. I don't know what I have not done enough in terms of publicity. I have given out flyers at Bukit Batok Sec, Millina Institute, Bukit Batok MRT; at each and every block of Bukit Batok West, now doing East part of Bukit Batok, what more can I do??? I am looking at the region of thousands of flyers given out, killing lots of trees in the process but no response (I cannot include the 2 who signed up as they were from my tuition and my GF's school respectively). Banner? How to have a banner when I can't be even sure whether my $$ is enough to even pay up everything this month??

In my opinion, the other is even more ridiculous.. Who is the right frame of mind would commit their $$ to a centre that is not even up and properly done??? Especially students, who don't really have a lot of $$ and a lot of chance to get good results. All they take is ONE look at the place for studying, decide if it is worth the $$ paid and make a decision. They can't wait.. Which brings me to the next point; (my 2 friends) suggesting that I CLOSE the centre so that my gals at the centre can spend more time out there giving out flyers...

I seriously don't belive in their theory that if these people are bon fide customers, they will call the number that I stick at the door, cos in my opinion, these prospective customers will JUST LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE.. McDonalds is just downstairs, so the alternative may also jolly well be cheaper. I checked with one of my gal on this theory and it was proven right..

Sometimes I wonder; do I have to show the stress on my face so that people will know that I am actually very concerned about the situation and not as if I am 'bo chup' over this issue.. I don't know, I am not a person that will go around affecting other people's mood because of my problems but this seems to give people ( like my 2 friends ) impressions that I don't really care or am doing anything..

I don't know.. Is just that after my conversation with them, even though they are supposed to be concerned about the survival of this study centre, I think they have affected me emotionally, making me irrational and unable to think properly.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!